The last couple of weeks I’ve been taking it easy in class. Half assing the warm-ups and only running the drills til I felt I was okay then stopping for a break. Continue reading
Techniques I’m working on:
I’ve been working on this new technique lately. It’s something I’ve been trying to get from half guard for a while now. We all know how it goes, or at least I hope we all do. The frustration of knowing the technique, knowing the details, tweaking the details, running the drills, but not being able to get it to work in live rolling. Feelsbadman.jpg putting in all this effort and seeming to get nothing in return. Continue reading
I’m not the biggest person in the world, or in my gym, most people in my there out weight me by 10 to 20 kg (20-40ish pounds), maybe more. There were, and probably still are, people I couldn’t work with, simply because I had no way to move them or control them like I could somebody smaller. I just didn’t know how to do it, I’d put all my effort into trying to get them to move or stay still and in a moment, it was all gone.
I’ve been having a bit of tough time lately. It’s hard to write about this, slipping again falling off the feel-good wagon. But I should keep it up, even if it’s just for my own sake. Continue reading
Over the past while I’ve been coming across too many posts, articles and headlines, all with one word in common “suicide”. From neighbours, to my favourite actors, to my fellow BJJ players, Young girls, Old men, Sons, Fathers, Daughters, it seems to be something that affects people from every walk of life.
Talking about this is always difficult, Continue reading
It’s been almost a year since my last entry, I took a little turn for the worse emotionally back then and needed to take a break from nearly everything that wasn’t school or training. After several months of study, work, train, sleep and repeat, it’s gotten better. A lot has happened in the time since I last wrote, I aced my exams, I picked up extra work around the gym, I now help teach the wee ninjas class at our club. Between 18 and 30 kids aged 5 to 12, training has been better that ever and in the same time I have also achieved my blue belt and a few stripes to go with it. It was all going so well and I’ve been so busy, I forgot to write about it, but I figured I have a few days free, let’s see if we can get this going again. Continue reading
“This is exactly how I felt this morning. I have so many things to do and so little time to do them all in I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed, and figuring, what’s the point? Not to mention I’m tired, in a bit of pain, and just feeling all sorts of sorry for myself right now.
I can be thankful I’m not like I used to be, because despite feeling so crappy this morning, I got up. I wasn’t about to start the spiral all over again so, I didn’t lie in bed, cowering away from the day like I used to. I had my morning routine, so I just ran through it, get up use the bathroom brush your teeth wash your face, baby steps, little by little. It didn’t put I spring in my step, but it made me feel a little better, small accomplishments are still accomplishments.
I guess today I realised that you don’t have to be on top of things, and that it’s okay to not feel okay.”
I wrote this post a few days ago, and others all either deleted or saved but not uploaded, because I couldn’t post anything this past week. They’re just full of lies, I didn’t get out of bed, I did cower away from the world and I hadn’t been to training, I just hid. I couldn’t post about that, feeling the way I did, it got worse as the days went along and I just couldn’t face it. It is okay to not feel okay, but for some reason for the last few days, I didn’t believe it.
I felt… I still feel, like a failure, I’m supposed to be writing about how I got better by using Bjj and my fitness to keep myself happy. But I’m not happy, I don’t know why, but I’m not. Posting to a happiness and fitness blog, when I’m neither happy nor keeping up with my fitness just seems like a lie.
I won’t be adding to the 100 days from now on, it would feel too dishonest to continue. Hopefully I can get back on track and try to continue with the blog as a whole, but for the time being, I’ll be taking a break.
Today I took the whole day off. I initially felt bad about it, but when I tried to move this morning and I found I literally couldn’t without pain, I decided to stay in bed, and recover a bit, I’ve been here all day.
I haven’t taken a day off in a long time, I work, go to school, and train, nearly everyday. Even on my off days I’m either in the gym for myself or training someone else. After doing all that, day in day out since the start of the year, I’m exhausted. So today I take an extreme lazy day 😄.
Pretty accurate example of how I looked.
It’s okay to take lazy days, especially when you need it, take some time, whether I’d be an hour or a day, even the whole weekend like I might do 😈. Everyone needs a break sometimes, mother’s and father’s, your classmates and colleagues. Everyone needs to take the time to unwind and relax after a hard day, a long week, even a short but stressful even deserves a breather afterwards.
If you need it, please, find a ways to take it. Rest isn’t just for the body, rest is also for the mind. It aids us in clearing the clutter, sorting out our thoughts and coming back with fresh perspective. Without it we can slip into dark thoughts and that is never good for us. So take breaks when you need them and rest when you can, and remember that it’s always okay to do so.
Here’s a list of cute sleepy animals in honour of my lazy day.
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It can be hard to see to light at the end of the tunnel, when it comes to getting what you want. Hard work is… well it’s hard. Finding the thing that makes it worth your while is an even bigger challenge. But if you can find that thing, and it truly makes you happy, cling to it. It may not come around again and you don’t want to be living with the regret of losing it. It’ll be worth the risk.
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